Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
