just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
