fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
