Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Randomize
