So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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