Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My ass is underappreciated
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
