im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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