This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
