his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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