At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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