Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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