Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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