I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
and you fell through a lawn chair
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Damn victory sex feels great
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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