Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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