just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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