i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
