A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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