my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
