You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
