so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
