The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
