we have officially lost it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
