just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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