i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
