the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize