at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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