if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
