K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
