Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
