If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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