I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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