I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
