just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Farmville is her only friend.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
