he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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