the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
