you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
