her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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