see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
