I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
