we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
