You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
love makes seman taste better
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
