On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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