Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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