Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
