I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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