We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize