Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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