is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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