So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
high people should be assigned attendants
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
