After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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