She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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