I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
