I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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