Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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