Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
