matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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