The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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