so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize