i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
