so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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