What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
