Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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