Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Maybe he injected his testicle?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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