If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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