Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
