Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
